I said as you asked
“But I came here for you…
You said while you insisted on rewarding yourself
as if a favor to me.
You beat my words down and wore me out
I gave in
I let my guard down
I lost all power
I failed myself
You stripped my pants like you stripped my pride
Branding your mark on me permanently
Burning that scarlet letter on me
Forcing me to make sure that others knew I was once yours
Staying with me like a shadow I cannot escape
The point of this blog is not to solely focus on any topic, but rather on whatever is timely or, simply, what is in my brain. Today’s topic has nothing to do with fashion or beauty trends, but rather an opening to a discussion that needs to be had more often.
I was sexually assaulted.
Unfortunately, that is not uncommon. In fact, according to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), “Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted.” I am not writing on this topic for you to feel bad for me, I am writing this for a couple of reasons: 1) to heal a little bit more and 2) to start a more open conversation to hopefully educate others on what sexual assault is or how to heal when dealing with sexual assault. Words are my art form that helps me heal and truly express myself. This poem I wrote months back while I was haunted of the night I am reminded of every day.
Sexual assault occurs in many different ways with many different situations. In my situation, I didn’t realize it was abuse until a friend pointed it out when I was in a bad depression over a year following the incident. How crazy is that? Something that was wrong against me, I didn’t even want to admit it is was and tried to blame myself. I was verbally beaten down to give in to another person.
In my personal friendship circle, I have found out that that is more common than not to not even realize or understand for a while that what happened was in no way, shape, or form okay. So I write this post begging people to understand and respect when others say “no” or any form of words that is not “yes,” and when someone comes to you with any type of assault, listen, just listen, then figure out where to go from there. People are not aware of the options they have so below I will be listing some resources to consult if you or a friend is in a bad situation.
I’d love to turn this post into more of a conversation. Please feel free to share any thoughts, feelings, or advice. Also, know that someone is always there to help you, and you are never alone.
Sexual Assault resources: